Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
