so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
