dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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