Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
