the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
