Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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