every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize