This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
