You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
