so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
