You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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