I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
