yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
