Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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