Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
