stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
