I wish I could punch you in the face.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
