i jhust puked up my retainher.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
