didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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