She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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