This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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