i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize