don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Can I color on your dick again?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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