I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
