I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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