It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
