That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
