Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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