HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
