i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
