I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
