he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She's the barista slut.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
