we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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