brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
