I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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