how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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