Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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