Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
