Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
