Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
