Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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