I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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