Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
