I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
