I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
