i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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