Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
