I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize