for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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