It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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