i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
