Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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