I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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