Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
