bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
