thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
