She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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