I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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