I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You ate ashes out of my bong
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
